Fuck Facebook up its every orifice with bat guano dildos!
Tuesday, 8 July 2025 10:22![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Early in the month, Facebook decided that something about the "account integrity" of my account was off, and so it suspended my account. Not Facebook jail, but rather "your account no longer shows up for anybody." I was given one single appeal, probably to an AI, without having the slightest fucking clue what "account integrity" means, or why it means I was suspended. I had that account since at least 2009, Alex has had his just as long and hasn't run into this issue at all. But oh, fuck me I guess.
Worse, the lone appeal failed, and now that account is permanently suspended. Facebook offered me a download of my account's information, which 1. is a bit weird given the "account integrity" thing, and 2. did not include any of my photos or videos or anything I actually give a fuck about.
After thinking about whether I even wanted to try for a new account for a few days, I tried today to make a new account. I had to make a new Google account for a new Gmail address, then tried to make a new Facebook account with that. It seemed promising, though it included taking a video selfie that I don't think worked right because one, the replay didn't display right, and two, I thought "upload" meant "upload a video from your computer" and so after the one that Facebook took failed to replay, I was going to upload one I made myself, since I went through the rigamarole a second time with my computer's webcam, but "upload" did not mean what I thought it meant; it instead meant "this shitty video we claimed to take and then fucked up (and yes, I checked the webcam was uncovered first) is what you're submitting."
And then naturally it figured out with the more accurate name (Fay Arts instead of Fayanora whatever) and the new email address that it was me even before the facial recognition bullshit. (Which Alex has never had to go through.) And what happened instead of getting a new Facebook account was it linked the new account attempt to the old account and gave the same bullshit answer about account integrity.
I am at my fucking wits ends with this bullshit. Does anyone know if there's a way to contact a human being in customer service on Facebook/Meta to get this bullshit straightened out? Because if there isn't, then I may just give up. If this can't be fixed then FUCK Facebook up its every orifice with rabies-infected knives. Even Alex is thinking of giving up on Facebook if I can't fix this shit.
Only other thing I can think of is to come up with a new ID entirely with a different name and email address and so on, and avoid putting any photos of myself on it at all, because Alex doesn't have any photos or videos of himself (IYK,YK) and he's never had any issues. Nor did Pi with his Svaenohr account when he was using it. Not sure how I would tell all my friends it was me without Facebook nuking the account, though, so... not sure if I want to do that or not. Because if I try it and it doesn't work, I'll be angry enough that I would hex Meta's servers with a spell to make all their fucking servers melt into slag.
I mean I suppose I could set up an email account with no connections at all to any of my others, with an address something like "facebooksucksshitoutofanasshole@dieinafirezuckerberg.com" and name the alter ego something like Harry Fangballs or Eris R. Kayahs or something. Though with the enshittification of the Internet these days, I'm worried it might require the use of a VPN to get away with that, even though again, Alex's account is still fine.
Worse, the lone appeal failed, and now that account is permanently suspended. Facebook offered me a download of my account's information, which 1. is a bit weird given the "account integrity" thing, and 2. did not include any of my photos or videos or anything I actually give a fuck about.
After thinking about whether I even wanted to try for a new account for a few days, I tried today to make a new account. I had to make a new Google account for a new Gmail address, then tried to make a new Facebook account with that. It seemed promising, though it included taking a video selfie that I don't think worked right because one, the replay didn't display right, and two, I thought "upload" meant "upload a video from your computer" and so after the one that Facebook took failed to replay, I was going to upload one I made myself, since I went through the rigamarole a second time with my computer's webcam, but "upload" did not mean what I thought it meant; it instead meant "this shitty video we claimed to take and then fucked up (and yes, I checked the webcam was uncovered first) is what you're submitting."
And then naturally it figured out with the more accurate name (Fay Arts instead of Fayanora whatever) and the new email address that it was me even before the facial recognition bullshit. (Which Alex has never had to go through.) And what happened instead of getting a new Facebook account was it linked the new account attempt to the old account and gave the same bullshit answer about account integrity.
I am at my fucking wits ends with this bullshit. Does anyone know if there's a way to contact a human being in customer service on Facebook/Meta to get this bullshit straightened out? Because if there isn't, then I may just give up. If this can't be fixed then FUCK Facebook up its every orifice with rabies-infected knives. Even Alex is thinking of giving up on Facebook if I can't fix this shit.
Only other thing I can think of is to come up with a new ID entirely with a different name and email address and so on, and avoid putting any photos of myself on it at all, because Alex doesn't have any photos or videos of himself (IYK,YK) and he's never had any issues. Nor did Pi with his Svaenohr account when he was using it. Not sure how I would tell all my friends it was me without Facebook nuking the account, though, so... not sure if I want to do that or not. Because if I try it and it doesn't work, I'll be angry enough that I would hex Meta's servers with a spell to make all their fucking servers melt into slag.
I mean I suppose I could set up an email account with no connections at all to any of my others, with an address something like "facebooksucksshitoutofanasshole@dieinafirezuckerberg.com" and name the alter ego something like Harry Fangballs or Eris R. Kayahs or something. Though with the enshittification of the Internet these days, I'm worried it might require the use of a VPN to get away with that, even though again, Alex's account is still fine.